“I don’t want my child to have a label.”

It sounds protective, almost noble. But in practice, refusing a diagnosis denies a child the understanding, support, and tools they need to survive in a world that wasn’t built for them.

That avoidance doesn’t erase the differences—it only erases the help.

A Lost Generation Without Support

I know this first-hand. I’m part of what’s now called the lost generation: autistic and ADHD adults who went undiagnosed because nobody wanted to “label” us.

We were told to try harder. Behave better. Toughen up.

But you can’t “cope” with something you don’t understand. You can’t fix neurological differences by simply demanding more effort. What we got instead of support were scars—anxiety, burnout, depression, and a lifetime of self-doubt.

That was the cost of not having a label.

What Happens Without a Diagnosis

When parents avoid labels, the child grows up knowing something is “off,” but never knowing why.

They watch everyone else navigate school, friendships, work, and life with apparent ease while they stumble over invisible barriers. The message that sinks in is brutal: there must be something wrong with me.

But here’s the truth: there isn’t something wrong. There’s just something different. And difference isn’t a flaw—unless it’s ignored.

Why Labels Are Keys, Not Curses

A diagnosis, a “label,” isn’t a curse. It’s a key.

It opens doors to therapies, accommodations, understanding teachers, supportive communities, and most importantly, self-knowledge. It gives a child the language to explain themselves and the confidence to stand their ground.

Without it, they grow up fumbling through a fog, often reaching adulthood burnt out before they even begin.

The Real Stigma

Parents often think they’re protecting their child from stigma by avoiding labels.

The irony is that this decision sets their child up for even harsher stigma later in life—when the world labels them lazy, difficult, weird, or broken because no one ever explained what was really going on.

Breaking the Cycle

We can’t keep repeating this cycle. Kids don’t need protecting from labels. They need protecting from ignorance.

They need to know that their struggles are valid, that their brains work differently, and that there are strategies and supports to help them thrive.

I didn’t get that chance as a child. I don’t want today’s kids to end up as another lost generation.

Denying the label doesn’t take away the difference—it only takes away the tools to deal with it. And that’s not protection. That’s abandonment.